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Dear shanola:
I don’t think it is dumb to hope to be loved by someone. It is a natural need, one that we are born with; one that never goes away, as long as we are breathing.
One day, if you can afford it (low cost, sliding scale), therapy with a competent, empathetic therapist can do a lot for you. Not now, maybe someday.
For now, I hope you have a good trip to New Orleans. Then you move to Florida- hope you focus on your studies there and gradually make a friend here and there, some positive socializing. Maybe there will be a change with this young, young woman. Maybe not. Maybe another will pop into your life.
Post again, anytime.
anita