Anita,
I agree on some points. We will always be here for the kids when they need us, and they will I’m sure even after they’ve been on their own.

I still have the stress of thinking/knowing I don’t have enough for a comfortable retirement and want to hoard as much money as possible till I feel comfortable.

Will the comfortable point ever come? Probably not.
I have some friends who are few years older than me. Both are very highly paid professionals with over a million in retirement accounts and generous pensions to boot (both of them). They don’t live extravagantly but they feel like THEY cannot afford to retire! I would have retired years ago if I had that kind of money.
I guess it’s a matter of perspective.