Dear Analisa,

I’m so happy to hear you happy a healthy, normal relationship now. Nobody deserves an abusive relationship.

My ex was the first and only man to have ever yelled at me. The first time was extremely shocking and it still is. I remember telling him this and his reaction was 1) he didn’t believe me 2) I deserved it 3) he didn’t seem to believe that other men don’t yell. Maybe he learnt it from somewhere, I don’t know.

You are right – this is like an addiction and I must treat it like one. And like you suggested, every time I miss him, I always read through my post and all the responses. It also makes me angry though and makes me want to shove it in his face! But I know it’s pointless. He won’t see the problems.

I will try therapy and keep my mind occupied with positive activities like you said, art, friends, and exercise. I only just told my mum everything and although it was hard at first, it really helped.

Cherish your new relationship, Analisa, and take care.

Aballa