Hi Dreaming715!

I’ve got about an extra decade on you and I’m still unmarried (and no boyfriend), no kids. I too worry about ending up alone, childless, and eaten by a pack of hungry wolves (wait – you didn’t mention anything about wolves – my bad). It’s a very normal, very real fear. For better or for worse most cultures still see matrimony and motherhood as the pinnacle of female existence. All the wedding and baby images splashed about in the media/social networks only magnifies the feelings that you are missing out if you’re single and without offspring.

What’s helped me, strangely enough, is taking two paradoxical viewpoints: first, accepting that I very well may never have little ones of my own and may never meet Mr. Right. When I allowed my brain to entertain this possibility, I started thinking, “OK, if that happens, what will I do with my life instead?” All these wonderful alternatives started to pop up in my head, like going back to school and pursuing a graduate degree, traveling, starting my own business, go on spiritual retreats, etc. I could see a reality of me being able to spend all this money and time on myself that I probably couldn’t if I had a family, and quite frankly that was very appealing.

But here’s where something else bubbled up – a voice inside of me said, “well, couldn’t you do all those things with a family too? And is there really an age limit to when you start a family?” I meditated on these questions, and discovered a wonderful new truth (which is the second viewpoint) – I could get married at any age – and if I wanted kids in my life there were other avenues other than the traditional nuclear family / having a child of my own body. I could adopt, be a school teacher, be more involved with my nephew, perhaps have wonderful step-children, etc.

My point is I found peace when I let go of my preconceived notions about how my life should play out. Who knows, maybe I’d be miserable if I got hitched and pushed out a bunch of rugrats. You never know for sure. The only thing anyone can hope to be sure of is the present moment. When I stopped worrying about some hypothetical future, I could finally enjoy my life *now*. And when you enjoy life, you’re more likely to attract what’s best for you – be that a husband, career, etc.

Before I go, I want to stress that even with everything I said, it’s totally OK to grieve if you don’t get the family/partner you had hoped for. Just don’t let it define you.

Sending lots of positive energy your way!