Dear Aislynn:

I asked details on your other thread but got all the details I need right here. These are my thoughts: Ava doesn’t know you, at all. So her initiative to introduce Richard and you as dating potentials is NOT based on any valid information.

The fact that you can clean and cook, for crying out loud, is not valid information, unless, like you pointed out, Ava was to introduce you to Richard as a potential employee, a cook and a maid.

This is nothing but wishful thinking on Ava’s part, wishing her brother would get married and have children. You asked about her motivation, well- there are possible motivations, here are a few:

1. Maybe Richard is interested in a woman that Ava very much dislikes and she is afraid he will marry her and that she, Ava, will have a woman she dislikes as a sister-in-law, so she is in a rush to get him paired with someone else, anyone else.

2. Maybe Richard has exhibited, in Ava’s mind, a terrible taste in women he dated, and so Ava is desperate to get him paired with anyone who seems- on the very surface- decent, in comparison to his past choices.

3. Maybe, Ava is bored and so she is getting involved in her brother’s dating life, to have something to talk about with Michelle and with your mother- while he dates you, keep a conversation going.

Which brings me to the topic of your anxiety: the fact that the prospect is not only whether to date a particular guy, but whether to be the topic of conversations between Michelle, Ava, your mother, Richard and whomever else may be joining to talk- this is an extra burden on you, I believe. Now you don’t only fear what Richard will be thinking of you, you have Ava, Michelle and your mother’s conversations and cross-sections evaluations to think about.

So I would say- reject the initiative and when you do date someone, date someone who has no contact and no relations to people you or your mother knows.

anita