Dear Aislynn:

You are welcome and I am glad you are back. I was wondering about you.

No wonder you feel a greater difficulty asserting yourself with your mother than with strangers (you mentioned it in an earlier post here)- the risk of being disapproved by a person you need is greater than to be disapproved by a stranger, a people of no consequence to you.

This is why this is a good opportunity for you to assert yourself with a person of consequence to you, a person whose approval is so important to you: your mother.

When you told her that you didn’t think you liked Richard and that you didn’t “feel like” going out with him, that was not assertive enough. The wording you chose suggested that you are open to negotiate. So your mother suggested you might get to like him. Assertive enough would be: “I will not date him.” No opening to negotiation. Hope you state your position clearly next time, anytime.

And glad you are feeling better.

anita