hello beautiful angel you are NOT ALONE. its ok to feel this way. this is a time in your life you need to be strong for your mom, be positive and do your best and just keep loving her supporting her and being there for her. <3333 You are also the answer to whatever bothers you. you can develop a naturally more positive way of thinking and mindset, it takes time but anything is possible. even when tough times come, they dont last forever it helps you to grow and be stronger and its all about h ow you react to things in life <3 im sorry about your moms cancer. all you can do is what you can control <3 LOVING HER, supporting her (which u are doing a great job<3 proud of you), doing what you can to help. the rest is up to time and fate. Focus on the good, the good memories with her and your amazing new job. its a blessing to even be able to find a job andd get some income <3 write a list of stuff you are grateful for everyday, and your dreams and goals and hope <3 your concern will help her because you care but also be positive kind and loving to her she needs support more than ever and encouragement just that she isnt alone <3 keep doing your best, its good enough you are doingt ALL YOU CAN thats AMAZING and so proud of you <3 try to focus on stuff that distracts u , hobbies that give u joy ANYTHING that gives you joy <3 i promise you can AND WILL GET THROUGH THIS. you got through stuff thatbothered you before 100% of the time. YOU CAN, YOU WILL BE OK <3 Focus on the blessings and good u got in life, like a job, family being alive being able to smile laugh breathe and get help from this site and also love yourself and take care of you. do your best to remmeber this, I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY and not think negative or have these feelings constantly. you can control this. for a happier healthier longer life <3 have faith and hope and positivity things dowork out. you must focus on what you can control. your thinking and mindset will help your mother out greatly too <3 also your family is wonderful i honestly wish the best in life for you . you are not alone and everything will work out the way its suppose to <3 just all you can do now is control how you react to things, spread your love kindness and happiness to your family and give your mom support and be the good sweet daughter you are who is just doing her best. you dont need to react happy all the time and not show your concern, its okay to be scared but dont let fear control your life. its a problem when you arent sleeping well. just have hope, calm your thoughts with meditation breathing in and out thinking positive and doing whatever you can. keep fighting, keep trying and keep being you and living each beautiful new day. life is a miracle and you are one to your family and your mother is going through this but you can find light in toughtimes <3 i promise you that these things dont last forever and all the best to your beautiful mom . you are never alone and you shall be ok <3best of luck from canada! <3 big hugs !! so proud of you for doing your best! hope this could help a little to give you hope and that you are not alone and you will be okay and just to look on the bright side more <3