After sleeping on it, I would like to add that shame has to be a big one for me. My mother was pretty emotionally abusive, maybe as a way to let out her feelings of shame with her life(i am not justifying it, just throwing it out there). We are very much alike in personality so maybe she subconsciously took her issues out on me. Now I feel like if I dont act perfect, then there is something wrong with me. This pressure and cycle of perfection (especially since I was not consciously aware of it) lead to anger in my twenties. Which hindered my ability to connect with others. Which perpetuated the cycle of shame.