Hi Katie,

Looks like you’ve had some helpful feedback/notes from Anita, etc., but I will follow up to the questions you asked me (at least I assume you were asking – maybe what you wrote was purely rhetorical):

And I don’t know what this processing looks like? Sitting at home alone, reflecting? Just doing things that I enjoy? You can see how I feel quite lost and confused sometimes.

Processing is *exactly* what you said, sitting with the feelings and reflecting on them – pouring them a figurative cup of tea and ask, “OK feelings, who are you, what are you about, what am I to learn from you?” Listen to what they have to say, and say your peace in return. (I know this sounds a little new-agey/woo-woo, but I’ve found it works.) Give every feeling their own moment/attention: the ones you have about your mother, J, R, S, that jerk that cuts you off in traffic – everybody. Eventually the feelings will have said everything they need to and then they’ll be able to go away.

And yes, dealing with feelings doesn’t mean running from them or numbing them. (I hear you about doing everything you can to blot them out – food and television were my distractions of choice for years!)

I’m not saying you need to go into therapy, go on some meditation retreat, become a hermit (I mean, you can if you think it would be helpful!) – but do carve out the time. Posting on these boards is a good first step!

Again, best of luck to you my dear.