Dear XenopusTex:

First, relax best you can. This is only a first date. The purpose should be to get to know each other, for each one of you to learn who the other is. In your case, at least, it is also an opportunity for you to learn about yourself. If I was you I would focus on this date being a learning opportunity. The goal is to have another date and then another, so take it easy. You don’t have to learn a whole lot on that one date.

What about you interests her? Could be your looks: like I wrote before, some women like the geeky type. It could be your profession- dating a prosecutor would have been an attractive prospect for me when I was single, that’s for sure. It can be that your serious face, the tough exterior attracts her… I don’t know. This is something you can learn, maybe on the first date and maybe later.

Please be calm, be authentic. Since you don’t know what it is that attracts her, don’t make assumptions and don’t try to exaggerate any aspect about you that you think may be the attraction for her.

Don’t let her height discourage you or the fact that she has a daughter. It is too early to worry about the latter, it is only a first date. And the height, well… it may not be a big deal. You’ll figure it out later as you get to know her better.

As I wrote before, some women find it attractive if a man is anxious or shy and so forth. This is the thing- you may assume a woman will be attracted to a man who acts very confidently, but this is not true.

Post more if you need more of my input before the date. I do want it to work for you and I believe it is likely to be a good experience. Keep an open mind. When you get anxious, switch to curious. Anxious-> curious. That’s what I do. Look forward to the learning experience. Guard your expectations- be cautiously optimistic.

anita