Dear bloo64:

As to your last line: no, you don’t have to solve this on your own. Often people need help. I wasn’t able to solve things on my own for decades! You do need people, but the right kind of people to help you, that is people who are able and willing to help you.

There is a “disturbance in the force” – in your brain, that is, a confusion, a misunderstanding and your brain thinks so very much in efforts to resolve the confusion. It will keep thinking and thinking until you get clarity.

To get clarity you need someone else’s help. It may be the help of a competent, empathetic psychotherapist.

And who knows, maybe I (not a therapist, a member here, like you) can help. I will try.

You wrote: “. But I’ve been practising for a month and I don’t really see results…which is frustrating…it seem like work…doesn’t feel like playing…when I do something I love shouldn’t that feel like play time ?”

When you play a computer game or when you operate anything electronic, you see the results right away so you get used to it. In life outside electronics this is not the reality. Everything is way, way… way slower. So you have to adjust your expectations to the medium. If the medium is a computer game, do expect quick results and that intense fun that comes with getting quick results. When the medium is other, expect slow results and often enough, no fun at all!

Oh, how we wish, don’t we, that life could be fun, fun and more fun. Not so in reality.

You asked: when you love something, like the guitar, shouldn’t it feel like play time?

Well, lets look at this: you touched the guitar, you felt magic, you felt love so you thought something like: This is it! This is what I want to do for the rest of my life, play the guitar, create beautiful music that will make people happy all over the world. This is what I was meant to do. I used to worry about what to do with my life, but problem solved (what a relief!) Now I know and I will now be able to live happily ever after.

Is it so?

Let me know and we’ll take it further.

anita