Dear bloo64:

Hope you are sleeping well and if you are playing, hope you are enjoying the game. What games do you enjoy most?

As to the thoughts you listed, we can examine any one or two at any time, no rush. Here are a couple:

“– Is this not what I want to do ?
– If not then why aren’t I able to have a definete NO answer ?”

By “it” you referred to the guitar, I think. If you think that you are supposed to want to do ONE thing for the rest of your life, one thing- the guitar- and invest everything in it, then that is a lot of pressure you are putting on yourself. It is as if you are placing on yourself the 9-5 job-kind-of pressure that you hate.

It doesn’t have to be this one thing. You may want to play now but remain flexible. It is okay to change your mind. It doesn’t need to be this one thing for the rest of your life. It can be this today and something else tomorrow.

Thinking these thoughts show me you are unreasonably demanding of yourself and that is counter productive because it creates distress that is unnecessary and harmful for you.

Your thoughts?

anita