Dear slp1214:

In your original post you wrote that your boyfriend is trustworthy. In your second post you wrote about your boyfriend that he ” says something and doesn’t follow through with it… as agreeing to to grab lunch with me or picking me up from a doctor’s appointment.” When he tells you that he will pick you up from a doctor’s appointment and does not he failed your trust. You trusted him to pick you up and he didn’t. If this is just one of many examples over time of him not following through with what he says, then he is often not trustworthy.

You wrote: “I find that I get truly angry with my boyfriend in a way in which I’ve never experienced”- this may be because, like you wrote, this is your “first serious relationship”- and what happens in it triggers in you anger from childhood. For example, it may be that a parent didn’t follow through with what he/she said. So when your boyfriend does the same thing it brings back the hurt and anger from your past. So the anger feels too intense for the present circumstance because it carries the extra intensity of the triggered past.

It may be that when your boyfriend, in your other example, didn’t ask you if you are available to the event, you felt disrespected, as you were. But again, the intensity of your hurt and anger could carry that from your past, when a parent/ sibling ignored you, didn’t consider your wants and feelings.

Your thoughts…?

anita