Dear Call Me Ishmael:

Good exercise of not sending her an email or gift and instead sending this post to no one in particular.

It is interesting how the mind can hold, with equal emotional energies, two completely disparate understandings of the same events, you wrote. I am assuming that the woman you shared about, at times, felt close to you and shared that closeness and what you saw in her eyes was real affection, real vulnerability and that endeared her to you. Same person, later, away from you and in the presence of others, has other thoughts not congruent with affection for you but with anger, suspicion, distrust.

Every person is born vulnerable and loving and that part stays but injury adds layers of ongoing anger, distrust, the motivation to hurt, punish etc. and in between those layers there is a bit of that loving nature coming through.

Thing is, when you become vulnerable to a woman, better make sure she doesn’t bite you in between the kisses. Now, that is not too much to ask, is it? Many people don’t understand that it is not to much to expect from a partner- to NOT be abusive, hurtful in between the good, loving moments. To be dependably loving doesn’t mean to always feel loving; it means to act lovingly regardless of the emotion of the moment.

anita