Dear XenopusTex:

You mean signs that said “Yes, proceed to get to know this person” and “No, stop. Do not get to know this person”?

There are such signs and you already responded to those: not proceeding to get to know people you already know you don’t want to … further know.

If a person disrespects you clearly, more than once and does not correct following that one time, that would be a No Sign.

It is a process of elimination on one hand and knowing and becoming known before/ without elimination. It is allowing imperfections on her part and on yours. You decide what is acceptable to you and what is not. For example, you may decide her height is acceptable although not preferable. And you may decide (and I hope you do) that mutual respect is non negotiable.

It is important to have breaks between conversations so to decide these things, evaluate and decide. It can be a very interesting process, the getting to know a woman. Once you get curious, you are motivated to proceed.

Try to accept the concept of slowly getting to know a woman, through calm conversations, over time, with breaks in between; try to accept it as something desirable, interesting.

anita