Dear rwalston:

I am not going to tell that (“that I can only fix me and hope that he follows”).

You wrote: “We have been through so much together.” The key word for me is: Together.

When he is verbally mean to you, and you tell to stop, and then he continues to be verbally mean- this dynamic is no longer Together. It is him against you. And so he has to stop acting against you.

If he told you, when angry, how angry he feels, seeking your empathy and comforting, that would be Together.

Got to be together, or not at all- this is what I say.

anita