Qrasy,

I agree with your assessment that you are depressed. I don’t know what resources are available to you, if you could go to therapy or talk to a doctor or family member or professor whatever about what you’re going through. Even if someone is not a trained therapist, I think it can be useful to get the perspective of someone else on what you’re going through – in person, not just on the internet. (Although we do our best, right?)

Apart from getting help with your depression, I would encourage you to focus on just keeping going. Do the things you would do, with this pain in your heart. Even if the pain is very heavy, and everything seems pointless, do the things that need to be done. Eat, drink coffee, meet friends, read books, look for work, consider business ideas. And don’t fight the pain you feel. Be like, “Yes, hello pain, I know you’re still there. I’ll take you with me as I go shopping, but I can’t let you stop me. I’m still alive and I’m going to keep going.”

Focus on getting your life together – a job, friends, a place to live, things you can do that you enjoy. Leave your romantic prospects by the by for now. It’s a puzzle you can’t solve by thinking. So say “who knows?” and keep going.

Good luck, friend.