Dear Anita

I see what you are trying to say. But you know I miss him, so much. I am not ready to look for the next boy. I wanna have happy moments that we had, again. Sometimes I think that I give up,too fast. Like i should have stayed. You know be there for him. I have a feeling that I made a mistake for that and yet I know that the mistake would be to go back to him, right now. I know it.
I wanna him before he changed. And now I am crying. Great.
I need his hugs and kisses but I don’t believe him. I don’t believe when he says I love you.
I have a war in my head. One side he is bad, it’s good that you left, he won’t changed, you gave him so many chances to make things right. And the other part of the brain says: you love him, I was so crazy in love.
It’s kinda I am going crazy in my head.
When will it all be over? When will I found peace? How to put myself in peaceful state?
I think that I blame me, because we should have stayed. I should have had more compassion for him and his situation. But I have gave him chances, he had 3 months to change. And in that 3 months he made things even worse.