Dear friends,

Thank you so much for guiding me when I needed directions. Reading your replies, I thought and thought about it. It wasn’t easy for me to decide. And I finally called him up and told him that I ‘want’ to forgive him. A part of me was breaking as I said that.

It’s complicated. So complicated. I can’t really describe what’s in my mind. A part of me is extremely happy. A part of me is filled with hurt and sadness, and perhaps some anger.

I told him that it’s really taking everything of me. I don’t want to hold grudges, I don’t want to keep a score. That’s not what I want. But there are times I might not be able to be fully kind and forgiving. There will be times I will question things and be upset about it. But I try. I will really try.

He broke down and said thank you. I’m not sure if im fully satisfied with his explanation. When I told him there’s no need to actually lie in the first place. And he agreed after a brief period of silence. He admitted that he was selfish and was only thinking about how much he wanted to be with me, and that he knows if he told me the truth I would have want nothing to do with him, even if he broke off with her. (I told him before that I will not involve myself with a man who is taken or is healing from a broken heart).

I don’t know where this is going to take us. But like some of you have said, I know how important he is to me and it seems like the same the other way around…. As long as he’s not a sociopath…?