Dear jade green:

Congratulations for making your decision. You wrote that you: ” told him that I ‘want’ to forgive him. A part of me was breaking as I said “-

This is what I understand from your latest post: you decided to forgive him but you know that to forgive him is not a one-time event. It is and will be a process that will take time and effort on your part- and will require his patience and understanding.

You decided to forgive him, that is, you expressed to him your willingness to forgive him. Of course, you wish to no longer feel your hurt and anger. And maybe he wishes too, that there will be no more hurt and anger on your part. But there is and will be, for a time to come. And so, this issue is not over yet.

There are consequences to actions. He lied to you so to keep it and therefore he will pay the price. The price he has to pay is not losing you, at this point, but that he has to endure your hurt, your (non-abusive) anger. He has to support you through your process of forgiving him.

And through this process he has to not lie to you, he has to earn more and more of your trust.

Do post anytime.

anita