Dear alabamamama:

So you know how to go about your decision but you are struggling with the decision itself, being faced with his opposition and the friends’ opposition. Correct?

I went back to your original post. The relationship with him was up and own from the very beginning, lots of drama, lots of enjoyment along the way and recently: ” Three years forward we are in a rut. He’s at his computer and/or high all the time” and you are “JUST.SO.MAD.AT.HIM. For not trying: not just for the relationship, for his own sake.”

If you leave for six months he can continue to do what he has been doing- his life will not be disrupted: he can continue to sit at the computer and get stoned a whole lot of the time. These activities don’t require you. (You can tell that to the friends that disapprove of you leaving).

Maybe he will choose, during those six months, to do something else. Maybe your physical absence will motivate him to be more productive.

And about Love: when he stopped trying for the relationship, he put his love for you into deep (stoned) sleep. Again, you don’t need to be there with him when his love for you is asleep/ stoned. You need love that is awake!

Do post again…?

anita