Dear Searching for Answers,

You deserve so much better than this man. He is torturing you! He breaks up out of the blue and doesn’t want to get back together, but he expects you to wait until he’s sorted himself out and still talks to you like you’re his girlfriend? And he thinks you are a compromise?

Man, **** that guy!

Strong language aside, he is being really unreasonable, unfair and selfish. If you want to get out of this hurt, you need to be clear with him. He says it’s over, so let it be over. Stop talking to him. Stop validating him and feeding his personal drama. You can be honest, patient and kind like this: “This situation is making me feel terrible. If it’s over, it’s over. Let’s be done. It hurts to much to talk to you now, I’m constantly worried you’ll up and run away again. I’ve been patient but I’m at the end of my wits, so this is it. Good luck with your life, don’t call me.”

It is not OK to string people along. Tell him you won’t be on his string anymore. Only then can you start to move through the hurt, and find the beautiful life that’s waiting on the other side.