I just want to say that you’re doing really well, you’re dealing with this in the appropriate way and although it’s really horrible when your mind does stuff like this, it’s also pretty normal. It’s just your brain handing you sh** because it’s freaking out about something.

When people, or your own brain, hand you s***, the best reaction is something like this. “Ah, I see you’ve decided to give me some ****. That’s not something I asked for, and I don’t like it. I refuse your gift. Goodbye.”

It’s clear you’re already doing this, and it will get easier with time. Remember they are only thoughts, and be as bored as you can manage when they pop up. (Like: “Oh, really? That whole “Fish hook through the [bodypart]” thing again? Yo, 1987 called.”)

You can be happy again. Have faith.