Sometimes I feel like I unconsciously make myself a victim so that people may care about me more. But here’s a thing, this all happens in private. I don’t show people my worst, but I do describe it to them occasionally.

And here’s another thing: people DO care about me.

Or… am I… wrong? People care, but it’s inadequate because they’re unaware of how bad it is? Or is it really that bad? What am I doing to myself…

People don’t seem to know the right ways of reacting. Maybe? I’m not even sure if I can trust my own judgment on that.

It’s not that anyone has ever reacted negatively. That hasn’t happened. Maybe it’s just an absence of SUPER positive reactions? Am I exaggerating the point, here? Am I unable to recognize when something IS positive? No wonder then that I rarely return smiles.

Please, I cannot just blame others or say that they neglected me or are not positive enough around me. I honestly don’t know if I can ever confirm any of that. That really doesn’t seem to be the case. It could be that I am in a good environment but have a flawed brain.

Theeere we go again with that argument…