Hi Anita and George

thanks for the reply!
Good to hear from both of you.
As I gain my right mind I am objectively(try to ) evaluating the relationship.
I know I did something wrong too, and my ex did smth wrong too in the end.
But I am trying to accept this flawed self of mine as well as my ex’s.

And i do wish her happy, when she said things were better on her side, I didn’t feel rage or anything, I genuinely hoped that she was fine. And i guess that’s why i didn’t further pursue the conversation, didn’t ask her about her current(if there is any),if she wanted to find me or tell me, she would do so without prompting.

I don’t even feel too much anger on her betrayal. I think she had her own issue to sort out too. Cheating is just a ineffective way to escape and avoid facing the real issue, and i think she has some work to do on her own.

George, I agree that the first two weeks(actually for me it’s like two months), was terrible. But since I knew i would just hurt her by contacting her, i put everything up on my own.
I did cry last night, when I self-talk(i imagined talking to her actually) , and I didn’t realize i still had so much to cry. But it’s not that overwhelming cry, it’s just saddening that this has ended up like this.
Thanks a lot for the suggestion! I think they make perfect sense. I am sure I will follow some of your suggestion. And thanks for writing in such a detailed way.

Anita, I am trying to update you to let you and everyone know i am better =) I think you helped me a lot and i think you would be happy to know the progress, especially this seems to be a positive one so far.

Have a nice weekend everyone

Chau