Dear rami:

Yes, I think there is a solution: a few things to be done.

One thing is in your last quote. You wrote: ” I can’t leave them (your parents) because I’ll feel sorry for them.” The one solution I am suggesting is that you will leave your parents and live away from them, having a limited contact with them while focusing and living your own life for your sake (not for theirs).

In your original post you wrote: ” I’m ready to do ANYTHING to feel okay with my self, and to feel happy again.” Well, are you willing to do this one thing I suggested?

The second thing is for you to attend psychotherapy with a competent, empathetic therapist, for a few months. Explore there the “deep inside” (in the title of your thread) so you can live a better life.

anita