Thanks to all for the responses. I have researched extensively on anything and everything that I think is related to both my behaviour and that of my wife. I have tried therapy and medication and found no answers to my dilemma. I know that the solution is to leave and never look back but that never seems to work out or I can not bring myself to do it again even though I have managed to leave temporarily on a couple of occasions. The long term problems have brought me to this point. I know I am brainwashed, conditioned, institutionalised and totally screwed up by it all.