Dear latika:

Your distress and despair is very clear and understandable. You – and your boyfriend- are indeed in trouble.

What I suggested, restated is to let his mother leave the house or whatever she threatens to do. It is not right for her to demand her son marries whom he doesn’t want to marry. This is why I suggested for you and your boyfriend to move away together, far away, so the two of you are not exposed to the mother and public opinion.

If the suggestion above is too radical, something you and your boyfriend cannot imagine doing, then your suggestion is risky but maybe it will work. Maybe it will work. Your desire to help your boyfriend and prevent the coming misery is admirable.

I sure hope that the fiancé and her parents are reasonable and good people who think past social conventions. If they think that once an engagement took place and there is no way to reverse it, then all your explanations to them will not help. They may be as rigid as your boyfriend’s mother.

If they are flexible enough, IF- they may listen to you, terminate the engagement and withdraw. Your boyfriend’s mother on the other hand, she is a problem. Even if you convince these people to reverse the engagement (and that will be a great accomplishment on your part), she, your boyfriend’s mother, might hurry up and pick someone new for her son to marry.

This is why I wish you and your boyfriend will move far away from this and make a life for yourselves, together.

anita