Hi Midnight. Are you confusing love with attachment and need. You are obviously a loving and caring person, but you seem to want the best of both worlds and that rarely happens. Love is about sharing but, above all, recognising that whoever we have a relationship with it’s always going to be flawed in some way. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, a perfect partner or a perfect life. No way! SO, we have to compromise. Now that can be hard when we have this ‘image’ of perfection in our minds.
Would having a baby solve the problem? Would it have to be the ‘perfect’ baby?
“The partner is not right or good enough”. Yes, you have said it all. I do feel that when the initial stages of a relationship are over and the physical side has become habitual and less rewarding, the doubts begin to form. Perhaps, and I am not saying you feel that way, but it’s then we can go looking for new experiences, a new partner that will give us that initial thrill we had before. Marriages often break down after a few years because of this lack of the thrill we had in the beginning. It’s called incompatibility. But it’s more often just the plain fact that we have got used to each other and are no longer willing to overlook the faults in our partner that were always there but were masked by our initial enthusiasm. Can you begin to see things as they are and not what you would like them to be? Try not to ‘label’ yourself.(ROCD). Labels stick and we can begin to identify with them.