Dear Midnight:

The key, I feel, is in one of your last part-sentences in this last post: “I only felt this anxiety and strong feeling that something was wrong” This is where the core problem is: “something was (and is) wrong.”

The solution your mind comes up with is the second part of the sentence: ” and I needed to get away from the person and not see them anymore”

The problem is in the first part of the sentence, the real problem. The solution is what is fueling your ROCD. Your ROCD thoughts are your brain’s attempt to solve the problem

But what is The Problem?

A clue to what The Problem is- is in another sentence of your last post: ” It is however very very disturbing as I then feel I am stuck in this situation and there is no way out. The ‘action’ in this case presents itself more as the necessity to ‘look reality in its face'”

I believe that The Problem is in certain reality that is too distressing for you to look at and see. This is what I was referring to in suggesting that you might abandon this thread in fear: the fear of looking at the reality you considered so far too scary to look at. That reality is the fact- I believe- that you were indeed “stuck in this situation and there is no way out.”

Your childhood, I am thinking was that situation.

Thoughts, feelings?

anita