Dear cherryblossom:

I regret you feel the distress you’ve been feeling for so long, the distress that caused you to lose all the weight you lost and suffer as you have.

At the beginning of your thread you wrote: “I need you to give me some advise of making magic or miracles happen”

I don’t believe in magic, cherryblossom. I used to believe in magic when I was a child. I prayed to the stars many nights but my prayers were not answered. No matter how intensely I suffered- and I did- no matter how sincerely and desperately I prayed for help, there was no help for me: no help, no magic and no miracle.

You wrote in your original post that you “also feel, that right now my outcome does not depend on me. I have this feeling that at this particular moment my fate is being decided on a higher level, and there is no much difference whether I do something or I don’t.” I am not that “higher level”- so what can I do?

There are things in our life circumstances that we cannot change and there are things that we can change. Regarding the things we cannot change, there is no “higher level” that will change it for us. We must accept those things or suffer.

I wrote to you in my first post to you on this thread that I believe the “miracle” you need and needed all along was to be assertive. This is the lesson to be learned yet. For as long as you feel there is absolutely nothing you can do to better your life, then you didn’t learn the lesson yet.

When you experience distress as you do now- and as you did on your previous job before going to HR- when you begin feeling distress, it is time to evaluate the situation and decide on the best course of action. If you put your hope in a “higher level”- be it a manager or god- you have little chance to fix your situation.

The more you see yourself as the Higher Level in your own life, the better your life will be in almost all circumstances.

anita