Dear rm2b:

Did your feelings of regret and guilt over lost time originate in his expressed hurt and anger at such lost time?

Is the situation such that he keeps bringing back the lost-time issue again and again?

If it is not you who came up with the lost-time topic- if he brought it up because he was celibate while you were in another relationship-

Better take care of this issue before getting married. Maybe in couple psychotherapy. This lost-time-concept may be (may, not necessarily) be an ongoing issue way into your planned marriage. And it may become more and more unfair to you. The unfair to you dynamic may be that he will be carrying this chip on his shoulder, this ‘I am a victim; you victimized me; you owe me’

This will not (and I am sure of that) be congruent with love, with a good marriage.

anita