Well then healed man, it’s up to you to change and life will step in and help, otherwise you might just be with her and then sleep 6 ft in the ground every night.
I want to remind you as Khan mentioned, things do get better. While my situation was not as extreme as yours, throw in losing a valuable family member and being humbled and continuing on getting into med school whenever that may be. After you decided you have had enough, you will experience the FOG along with anger. That in turn will change to pity and sorrow for her and your improvement happens. As well hoovering happens as she will try and get back in contact with you just to please herself. Stay strong. Stay NO CONTACT.
All the best
Thank you and take care.
-AP85