Hey Prakashraj,

I suggest you regularly maintain a journal and start volunteering seriously in an NGO for a few days. I will be pretty upfront with you on this – there are more challenging events to come in life and losing hope like this, hating others will not help you at all. Right now, your mind is stuck in victim mode – your situation is bad and everyone is pissing you off but see things for what they are – you are 18, you have a family, a roof over your head, people who will care for you in case something really bad happens – but screwing yourself over because of loneliness and some girl rejecting you isn’t worth it. Rejections happen in life, people will disappoint you and you will have to bounce back – life goes on. I am not saying I don’t understand the pain of loneliness, heart-break and depression – I do and that is why I implore you to consider the alternatives.

Take baby steps to combat your own negativity – try counselling for free say on yourdost.com – a few of the counsellors there are really good and I can recommend a few to you.

This too shall pass – over the years this is what I have realised – people overcome grief, abuse and tragedy – God knows what – we underestimate our ability to heal over time and overestimate what we can do to change in a day

The first step you can start with is do one good thing, one thoughtful thing for anyone a day without trying to take credit or expecting anything…I remember that day I was supposed to treat myself to this awesome takeaway after studying hard for an exam but in the end, I ended up buying ice-creams for the street kids. Haha, the seller thought I was a bit nuts but I dunno, it made me happy..during that time, I was just recovering from a major depressive episode, suicidal tendencies and had stated to get a grip oon life again. The guy I had loved for 6 years had broken my heart into pieces and that betrayal in the relationship shook me so hard – meanwhile, college placements tanked too.

And no one understood or even wanted to help while i was in this state – they were too busy in their own lives to care. I realised how alone i was and i had to somehow live through this either way…but you know, despite all of this – life goes on. Better things come, we develop the means to survive and thrive despite the pain.

I am sure you will find the way too but please don’t neglect your studies and future for this. You might not see that a good future is out there but trust me, you will regret thinking like this soon. One life, one chance – don’t waste your oppurtunities.

Regards,
Nina