Hi Anita,

Thanks for your response. I’m not sure what I was trying to get into here. Is it normal to miss somebody so abusive? It definitely outweighed the positive aspects of the relationship. I’ve heard a lot of different perspectives, some say the relationship I wanted never existed, as if he was a ghost. Perhaps I loved the idea of him?
I dont know, I’ve also been told to look into narcissism. A lot of what I read about I can definitely relate X to.

He left me via text message after 4 years of living together – that’s an ouch. His excuse was that he wanted to go “fix” his life. He has quite a lot of debt which I can understand .. But he seemed to think that I was the cause of all of his issues.

He also loved to say that I never changed for him. And that he has changed so much to make me happy IE Quitting Cocaine, cigarettes, and even stopped seeing a group of friends for me (mind you this was the group that influenced him into hard drugs)

I dont know why I find myself obsessing over what I did wrong to deserve any of this? It’s hard to say if anything was real – maybe I was just easily fooled.