Dear Anita, Anonymous and Satao,
Thank you for your insightful responses! I can’t begin to tell you how much lighter I feel now after being heard, understood and advised!

Anonymous – I was feeling so terrible for not being socially comfortable. As each day passed, I was expecting things to miraculously change and be the fun cool social person despite not putting much effort. And when those miracles didn’t happen, disappointment would grow. And yes, I was feeling bad – like a bad person for not being able to trust people and not feeling as good as I had once felt. But, I am glad to hear this is normal and that it is fair that my trust has to be earned.

Anita – I like the idea about writing a list! And, I really think I miss not having that connection with people. I should put in some effort into building real connections and a social life. I should be learn to accept that these new connections will be different that my college or school connections. They will take time but hopefully be stronger and more meaningful!

Thanks to both of you for understanding so well. I feel stronger and less crazy somehow!