Hi Kath!

Thank you so much for your input. I forgot to mention in my previous post that I did also tell him last night that I’m not upset that he opened the door to her again and rather, that I’m glad that he is making decisions on his own after considering what is best for him. I didn’t know if I was still coming across as trying to be controlling by saying, in the same conversation, that it makes me so sad and worried, especially everything he’s been through already. I’m glad that you warned me about the controlling trap, though. I’ll be extra careful that I don’t create that.

Yes, I do take on the healer/helper position pretty often, but only recently since this sister came into his life, really. We were best friends before this, but in a way I think it brought us closer because whenever he would get so hurt, he would call me. He always tells me that he wants to be there for me too, and I can tell him anything, but truth be told I don’t have a lot of issues on my own. I grew up in a pretty well-off family that was very loving and comfortable. Any issues that I have are very trivial compared to his and I don’t want to dump stuff on him when he has so much else in his head. Also, because my life is so comfortable otherwise, I think it makes me feel even guiltier for getting upset about this. I think I must be so spoiled that I get so upset by something that doesn’t even directly involve me.

I think you are right that I need to learn how to let things go that I can’t change. I’m nearing 30 and I’ve never been one to get caught up in drama. I don’t know why I’ve let this get to me so much. I think I just need to focus on staying cool.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 2 months ago by Charlie.