Dear Anita,

I know it sounds very stupid. But my mom is exactly like that. According to herself she’s perfect. And a guy like my boyfriend is a loser. And perhaps I should not care about her opinion, because she is a drunk who wasted her life. But you have to understand I’m extremely loyal to my mom. I don’t have any other relatives living in my country. They all live in my birth country, 2500 km away. I grew up with just my mom, her boyfriends would come and go, just the one guy – my ‘dad’ – with whom I still have a relationship with.

My boyfriend is smarter than my mom in the way that he understands he has a problem – his addiction. He acknowledges it. But that’s it. He doesn’t move forward from it. He’s a very sweet guy to me. Really loyal guy, not only to me as his girlfriend, but also to his close friends and family, even though they don’t talk anymore. I see a lot of great stuff, but this addiction is like a dark cloud holding him back. He has childhood traumas. I don’t want to label him, but to make it more understandable he shows symptoms of PTSS. And he finds comfort and safety in his weed use. I just want him to realise that it’s not a way to deal with problems!

I keep praying for him everyday for him to realise it and quit his habits. I don’t want him to give up on life like my mom did.