Thank you very much, Decima and Anita, for the time you took to respond to me. He has never gone and would never go to psychotherapy, although he did say he was open to going to couples’ counselling.
I do find that I’m criticising him more than ever – I’m like a pot that boils over and it’s all frustration. I realise that it just makes matters worse but it would be very difficult to stop doing that and suppress my rage.
Anita, thank you for shedding some light on his behaviour. He doesn’t come across as anxious, but quite easy-going, but I suppose his behaviour is indeed linked to anxiety. After he moved here, I discovered he had lied about a number of things, and one of them was that he had quit smoking many years ago. He was smoking behind my back and lying about it, and when I busted him he admitted that he’s an addict. He did quit last spring for fear of losing me, but I guess he has an addictive nature and all the devices he needs every moment has probably replaced the smoking.
Decima, I did have the courage to leave a miserable marriage after 21 years, forfeiting all my financial security. I was hoping this would be the last and best relationship of my life. It’s heartbreaking.