Upsetting. I just wrote long, heartfelt replies to everyone, only for it to be deleted. Grumble, grumble. Let’s try this again.

@Anita: Thanks.

It was an alright time, very well-needed. She helped me clean up after the dogs, so I wouldn’t feel the wrath of mom’s boyfriend when he got home. He still yelled about how she closed the back door 5 minutes beforehand, because it was 50 degrees out and we were freezing. She also commented on how my lack of appetite concerns her, which made me feel special that she noticed and cared.

Time was cut short. Her father threw some sort of fit at home, and then she had some random church event to attend, Friday night. Been spending the actual weekend alone. Then I cut it even shorter. We were supposed to meet up at a mutual’s birthday party today, but I didn’t feel like it, so I canceled on them. I don’t get much sleep when she’s over. It might either be our love for coffee, or my relentless anxiety, if not both. 4am comes around, she’s fast asleep; I lay beside her, trembling.

@Zariah: Thanks for taking the time to read and reply, I really appreciate it.

Sorry to hear about your sister, but I’m glad to hear she’s doing better. I’ll take your suggestions into consideration.

My suicidal aren’t as serious as they are frantic/desperate. Things will, in fact, get better. I prefer the term “everything will pass” since it focuses on both the good and bad, and seems a bit more realistic.

Senses, I do appreciate those. There’s nothing like a deep inhale after baking holiday pastries, the laugh of a loved one, the satisfactory stare of a fresh art piece, the feel of a brand new fuzzy blanket or the lively taste of a strawberry. The little things.

@Driftwood: Driftwood! Where’ve you been, boy?

I believe you were ’bout to go on about my relationship with my mother, and how it could potentially improve, with time. Nothing’s stopping you, I await your wise words, mister.

–

So, I got an art piece done. Just a warning, it involves gore/dismemberment and a fair lack of clothing.
http://orig09.deviantart.net/02ed/f/2016/310/c/e/disassembled_by_capturingthebeauty-danjatr.jpg

I’ve once shown one of my similar pieces to a past teacher of mine, and she asked if I’m okay. (This one: http://orig02.deviantart.net/6021/f/2016/159/5/5/candy_craze_by_capturingthebeauty-da5fonb.jpg ) I’m alright, I think. I just really like candy and gore.

So, I was out with my friend. We like to stop at the local grocery store at 1am, in animal onesies. There’s housing for mentally ill people across the street. On our way back, there was a lady on the balcony of the housing screeching about how we’re devil children and continued on to threaten to kill us. This made me realize that a mental ward might be even more troublesome than this apartment. Not to mention my appearance, which already screams “pick on me”, even excluding my prized bear onesie.

Also, I was thinking about the skin picking thing. It happens even if I’m not really stressed. I spaced out whilst watching something, and now there’s blood running down my hand. Maybe gloves aren’t that bad of an idea.