Dear Peppermint, thank you for your kind words – unfortunately, and you can read above, my parents are a force that cannot be reckoned with – they are insconsolabe unreasonable people that have truly gone down the deep end – the focus now is how do my sister and i maintain sanity and try for personal damage control.

Dear Anita,

You could not be more right. I may not know you in real life, but you helped my sister and I through yesterday- we had your guidance in mind. I almost imagined you watching all of it from the outside and shaking your head and thinking wow – exactly what I expected, I told you so (in the most supportive of ways).
As my sister said above, yesterday was a perfect microcosm of their insanity, abuse, and psychosis. Almost textbook.

Myself, fiance, and his parents (who i will just call in laws to make it easier) – went along with their plan for a family meeting – for no true reason but to end the constant stalking and harassment since last week’s fight – about their NEED for us to all meet today, constant calls text messages about the necessity, i tried to say it wasn’t a good idea for us today and of course they could not understand. during that conversation i attemmpted the “power over” technique. what became of that was insane hysteria screaming saying “now that youre all grown up and you make your own money, you don’t need us this is what you do, then say we are not going to come to this engagement party next week.
(background about engagement party – culturally the guys side throws it, his mom wanted to do something small, but my mom created INSANITY over that approach 6 months ago and FORCED his parents to have a large engagement party – so this is 200 people at this nice venue, and the beginning of the party will be a short religious ceremony with parents – which she INSISTED had to be a certain way – money is not the focus, but this is pretty much like a mini wedding next weekend and costs as much as most peoples weddings! ok back to now)
so she hangs up the phone. she immediately calls my MIL and cries and screams and says they are so hurt, they wont be coming to engagement party and will have to tell all their friends not to (half the guest list). during this time i am sitting in horror and talking to my sister, and we say to ourselves wow – just as expected it is getting worse and worse and worse. how can we at least get through this next week – and if for nothing for the inlaws to not have a fiasco at this party – minds racing.

my mom calls back a few minutes later SOBBING, OPPOSITE DEMEANOR, saying” sorry i don’t know what i have done to you but i am sorry forgive me, i love you and i want all of this okay, we are going to have a good meeting tomorrow and patch everything up – and proceed in such a nice way and go to india (mind you my mother, father, and i are booked to go to india on Dec.2 for 3 weeks for wedding shopping). then she puts my dad on the line who is equally hysterical and apologetic. i say so did you call the in laws and say youre not coming?!?! she says yes, i ask why – she says i was emmotional it happens its ok.

ok fine – breath in breath out. they are crazy but lets have a breather. we all kind of put this aside for a secon and think these psychos are uncontrollable but at this moment we can go along with meeting, and at least for in laws sake have a normal engagement party who knows.

fast forward 4 hours. its around 11 pm and i had just fell asleep watching a movie, geta phone call and i say in my head its fine ill call that person back tomorrow, then callsagain, so i abruptly wake up and think who is calling so late must be urgent.
pick up – it’s my mother (gone back to first demeanor – raging bull). shes says as my sister said above, that my dad is ill from all this and having chest pain – so as a doctor i say ok take him to the ER, we can come right now, she says “not that kind of chest pain.”
of course the convenient kind of chest pain to scare everyone, but not the true kind? insanity
she then goes on to say she cant make this meeting tomorrow its too much – i said ok but right now the focus is dads health, no? she gets furious and says that is why i am calling you – i have to focus on my husband’s health right now. i said ok – then i say well we dont have to havve meeting, she starts screaming and says she never wanted meeting and it is all because everyone else forced it.
continues to scream about how all this has affected her and my father’s health and then says – this is too much we can not meet and we can not come to engagement party – hangs up.

i speak to my sister an we decide we may want to call an ambulance considering my dads history of heart disease, but then also are simultaneously aware that she is just using it as a tactic. my sister calls my mother – and as above my mom repeatsthe same and is also furious – “why did your sister tell you it is an emergency – it is not THAT kind of chest pain.”

it was a horror movie. classic. perfect.

And Anita – if there was EVER a way and day to follow your advice – that the only way to survive is to cease contact with these types – it would be now….

my sister is struggling with the above, and i am trying to figure out how to truly break away.