Dear lilypadofwater:

You asked at the end of your thread: “Give me some tips on acceptance, being nice to others, coping with the inner monster and being overly sensitive about things.”

My tips:

1. Regarding “tips on acceptance”- do not accept disrespect by others. First, your mother is disrespectful to you when she “has to have it her way”- that means she disrespects and will not consider your way, including your choice of a career. Her shouting at you is disrespectful and abusive. It is not a caring or loving behavior. When you look sad and she rejects you by asking “why I was like that and why I was so strange…”- that is disrespectful and abusive. When other people are disrespectful to you, it is not healthy or right for you to act nice in return. The way to act in return is assertively, not submissively.

You wrote: “Although I am even sensitive when my friends or family make fun of me, I accept it because they are close”- do not give family and friends the right to make fun of you. It is wrong of them to do so.

2. Accept that anger is not a bad feeling and does not make a person a monster. It is automatic and natural to feel anger when disrespected and abused. It is human, not monstrous. When your mother shouts at you, she is angry AND abusive. When you are angry at her, you are angry but not abusive, you simply can’t help but feel angry when shouted at. You are not over-sensitive, you are mistreated and it hurts you.

anita