Dear kps59:

Moving back with him, here is the problem with you being sure 100% (about getting married and living together for the rest of your life) and him not being sure. It is like you have to pass a test, be at best performance so that he will make the decision to marry you. How do you live day after day with that pressure?

Here is my suggested solution: accept that it will be a test, but shift what the test is about:

Make the grade you receive not be about how pleased he is with you at any particular day, whether he made another visit to the ring store, whether he feels closer or father away from that 100%-

Make the grade you receive be about how true to yourself you are every day. You give you the grade.

Every day that you live with him, pay attention to be authentic, to be yourself; make YOU the focus of your behavior. Do not make him the focus of your behavior.

This way you will practice being you; you will find yourself more and more every day. You will not focus on his daily % of being sure. It will not be about him. (“To thine own self be true”…)

Is this making sense to you?

anita