Dear magnoliachrysanthe:

It is my understanding, at this point, that the communication problem on your part is significant. what difficulties he has, I don’t know. If I read his post I may get an idea, if there are significant communication problems on his end.

What I did notice is your problem in communication with him:

You wrote: ” One day it’s: Sorry I felt bad and wanted to check if you did as well. The next it’s: Sorry I thought you had a bad night, and I was worried for you.”

The “I felt bad and wanted to check if you did as well” is not contradictory to “I thought you had a bad night, and I was worried for you.” Actually, the two explanations fit, are congruent, consistent.

My understanding therefore is that you require the same WORDING from him. If he doesn’t say exactly the same thing he said before, you see it as a departure from the truth.

Him, being subjected to such an unrealistic expectation (to stick to the same wording with no flexibility on your part), gives him a bad feeling about talking and “communicating” with you- he is more in a setting of a courtroom, under the scrutiny of a rigid prosecutor than in a loving relationship where he can just be. Just being a human means not being a robot with a memory and repetition of exact wording.

anita