Hi Niki,
Yes all of what you have explained about your state of mind is truly understandable given what has happened.
I want to tell you clearly that life is not a bed of roses without thorns. There are going to be problems. Every single person has. Go through the issues from various members of this site and you will see what people are facing. The TinyBuddha homepage says over 2 million friends & followers. Such an amount won’t be possible if people are not in problems. One needs to face up and come out the them.
If you want to come out of your problems I will suggest you to get out of the “head mode” and get more into “action mode”. Get started.
Listen to the audios on the link that I posted above. Have you heard of Brahmakumaris in India? B.K. sister Shivani is a wonderful person and listening to her talks is really a life-changer. Based on personal experience I can tell you that every thing is in the head. It will start to get clear gradually in the coming time- what career to do, a change of mindset about getting a suitable life partner. Everything.
English being a second language and not a national language in India, I can see in all your posts that your writing is really good. So something tells me about you that wherever you go an whatever you do, you will do well.
Allow time to take time.
Live Your Best and Leave The Rest.
~VJ
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 