Dear royal:

It reads to me that you are doing the reasonable thing by moving on, that your thinking is correct: clearly, to move this relationship forward, one of you would have to relocate and the two of you will need to live together as a monogamous couple. He is not ready- was not ready five years ago, four years ago… a year ago, and currently.

Why don’t you let him know of your thinking, to truly move on, for the reason above, and give him this one last chance to express himself… and then move on.

You wrote: “But why do I feel like I’ve made the wrong choice? Have I?”- believing our emotions is due to “emotional reasoning”- because something feels a certain way, we believe it is so. For example: taking a placebo, a pill be FEEL will help us, often does (temporarily). Then in relationships: people with clearly abusive partners, most horrible abuse stories, still FEEL love and keep going back to abuse, because it FEELS like love.

Emotional-reasoning is a category of distorted-thinking. I learned about it in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

anita