Thanks for your help,

I feel very lonely and isolated. There are times when I feel deep sadness within me, as if I have been separated from something or someone. There are times when the process has felt truly magical, but when I am ‘pushed’ towards the beliefs I grew up with and understand, they don’t feel right to me anymore. I don’t like the person known as Jesus. He is a downright bully. He seems to utter the words of an enlightened being but then issues threats of eternal torture. I can’t imagine Lord Buddha doing that. I have come to understand that the books of the Torah are the word of God revealed to Moses. Trouble is, I don’t like Biblical God at all. The ‘Magic’ feels gentle and full of love with no conditions, whilst Bible God is the exact opposite. Bible God and his son make me feel like a worthless piece of shit. Come to think of it, they make EVERYONE feel like a worthless piece of shit! They don’t feel right to me at all. I am so confused and screwed up inside that I wish I could go back to being a child; back to a time before I was conditioned and indoctrinated by the Church. The really sick thing is that I still have a fear of Hell. I fear that if I ‘apostasise’ I will be burned alive for all eternity.

With respect, I don’t need any more books. Books are the problem.

Best wishes,
Tannhauser