Dear Poppy:

You wrote above: “I struggle too assert myself in a ‘good tone’. I’m usually too abrupt, so I go the opposite way.. then I end up saying sorry and doing whatever is required anyway.
Any tips on that area?”- asserting yourself with your mother while living with her is not likely to work. It doesn’t matter how hard you try or what tone you use.

With others, assert yourself effectively- it is a good skill that will serve you well.

You asked: “what is this trying to teach me, do you think?” I don’t think she is trying to teach you anything. I think she is just being herself.

anita