Dear roshrang,

I have a HUGE amount of respect for men and what they have to go through to put themselves out there for the woman that they love.

Having said that–now I don’t know your entire situation, such as how long you have known her–so I may be way off base. But my opinion is that if you don’t know how she will answer your proposal, then it is not time to make one. When proposals are made, usually the couple have already begun talking about their future and life together. The proposal is not a total surprise, and is just a lovely celebration of love.

It is a big leap to go from friendship to a lifetime partnership commitment. Perhaps start simpler? Keep it simple and tell her the truth. Say, “I value your friendship and I want to keep your friendship no matter what. But I also like you as more than friends and would like to grow our relationship romantically. Is that all right with you?” If she says no, then leave it at that, and be a friend. She’ll probably feel complimented even if she says no. If she says, yes, then you two have a long journey of work and joy in building a love relationship before you get to the part about the proposal.

I wish you the best.
~Jennifer