Thank you all for the advice you gave, I have come here tonight with an update and with closure.

In this heart wrenching ping-pong relationship we decided after the talk that it wouldn’t work, again. He became quite agitated when I kept pressing for answers and told me he will never change, he can’t change. Stupidly I still tried to cling on! I said well what about we give it a few weeks till your house is done and see when you move in if things get better. He agreed. He said he’s not sure he can do it but he hates the thought of me being with someone else.
We had some talks about his family, I asked if his mother puts guilt trips on him and makes him feel like he can’t leave to which he sort of agreed.
He has to do a huge errand in a few weeks to take his parents and sisters down to his sisters new husbands family all the way down in Brighton (about a 5 hour drive) the first impression I got from his body language upon telling me was eyes rolling back and sighing because he has to take his dad who is always having to stop for bathroom/prayer breaks and he said it’s like baby sitting a child. I asked him ‘So you don’t want to go, you feel you have to?’ to which he replied ‘No I want to go’ He lies to himself constantly.
He said I’m hung up on the fact his family are somewhat to blame. Maybe I am. He says they’re an obstacle but if things were different it wouldn’t change our relationship. I thought to myself really? So if things were different I would have already met your parents, and I’d probably be welcome on the trip to Brighton to meet the new in-laws because your mother and your sisters husband and his family wouldn’t have a problem with a white person by your side.
That’s another thing you see, he told me I’d never be welcome at his sisters house because her husband and his family don’t agree with white people mixing in the family, which is probably one of the reasons why he kept me a secret/in the periphery. (My ex partner has a half brother and sister that are half white which his mother demanded they have no contact with) I guess they failed to mention those at engagement proposals.

So as you can all probably tell there’s quite a bit of venom in me at the moment. I got in contact with him last week to tell him that I can’t do this anymore, and I don’t feel it’s a good idea to do the whole friend thing. We’ve tried and it failed. I needed closure and I sent a polite message asking him not to contact me anymore, to which he replied “I hope we can be friends again, I’ll never shut the door on you or cut you off”. I find it difficult to be off with him, I’m far too forgiving it seems and I do worry about his well being (he has told me his life will have no meaning and that worried me) I said yes alright we’ll see, but ladies….it has eaten me up this whole week. I felt betrayed, I felt so angry at him that I almost want to hurt him. I never feel this way! I did something terrible and I sent him a text that was quite nasty. I told him that I hate him and his racist family and never want to hear from him again. He told me the bridge has finally been burned.

I was relieved, it’s all I’ve ever wanted just to get some closure. I need him out of my life so I can move on. I’ve blocked all contact with him via phone/social media. I didn’t want to hurt him but I’ve tried so many times to maturely deal with this, it got to a point where I was taking time off work sick because I couldn’t stop crying. I do feel bad for what I said to an extent but part of me also feels I had to say those things, I’ve been too nice for too long to this person that keeps taking my heart and crushing it. I felt I was being taken for a fool. I do wish him the best but I’m going to focus on me now. I’ll find someone that’s more suited to me when the time comes.

My friend has just passed her driving test so we have lots planned for the summer, road trips, breaks away, festivals. I’m just going to focus on the good things in my life.

Thank you all for listening and any thoughts on my last comment would be appreciated.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 10 months ago by Dreamer83.